Bad to the bone…
If you know me, you’ve probably heard me complain about my back. If not, here’s a little taste of how it goes: MY BACK IS FUCKING KILLING ME. WHERE THE HELL IS MY VICODIN?
So, I finally went and saw an orthopedic surgeon today. I was hoping for something dramatic and life changing to go down, like - I don’t know - the surgeon passing out because he saw on the x-ray that the pain I’ve been experiencing is due to a fully formed tail* which is about to emerge, thanks to some spontaneous and supremely badass mutation.
No such luck. It turns out I have degenerative disc disease in my lumbar region. Booooooooooring. To amuse myself, I’ve decided to think of my back as being host to degenerate discs. Like, the kind that shoplift for kicks, and pick fights with the preppy discs, and get stoned behind the high school. Yeah. Degenerates.
*Note: If I DID ever grow a tail, it wouldn’t be a monkey tail. I’m pretty sure it would be like a cat’s. Or a skunk’s.
